Thursday, August 26, 2010
Why should we discriminate and renounce?
A bird in flight in the sky needs two wings; a person on the earth below needs two legs to move; an aspirant eager to attain the mansion of moksha (liberation), the abode of freedom, needs renunciation and wisdom - renunciation of worldly desires and wisdom to become aware of the Atma. When a bird has only one wing, it cannot rise up into the sky. In the same manner, if one has only renunciation or only wisdom, one cannot attain the supreme Self, Brahman. The sense of “mine” is the bond of deluding attachment. How long can one cling to what one fondles as mine? Some day, one has to give up everything and leave, alone and empty handed. This is the inescapable destiny.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
What is the best way to learn?
We have to learn good things from others. We sow seeds in the ground and provide it with manure and water. The seed sprouts, becomes a sapling and grows into a huge tree. It does not become soil when placed therein, nor manure when it feeds thereon, nor water when it partakes thereof. It only imbibes from each of them whatever it can benefit from them. It grows into what is essentially IT, namely, a huge tree! May you too grow likewise. You have to learn much from others; imbibe about the Supreme and the means of attaining it from even the lowest. Learn from others how to practise progressive sadhana (spiritual exercise) and saturate yourselves with it. But do not be transformed into others.
A Philosophical Argument for Masturbation
We welcome this guest post offering a fresh perspective on the goodness of masturbation. God has given us the power of reason to guide us in recognizing His path for us. This post uses philosophical reasoning to explain the value of masturbation as a tool to help us glorify God.Please also see our earlier article on Masturbation: God's Great Gift to Us.
Masturbation decreases rather than increases vice.Objection 1: Masturbation is a squandering of human time and physical energy that could otherwise be used for Godly worship, self-improvement, or good works.
Objection 2: Masturbation inflames carnal lusts, leading to worse sexual vices.
Objection 3: As an indulgence of physical appetite, masturbation encourages indulgence of other appetites, such as gluttony.
On the contrary, commission of vices requires time, energy, and motivation or desire. That which occupies time and energy preempts vice in the present, while that which extinguishes motivation or desire prevents the commission of vices in the future. As masturbation fulfils both these criteria, it results in a sum reduction of vice.
I answer that, masturbation diminishes vice by eliminating both opportunity and motivation to indulge in certain vicious activities. He who masturbates is therefore, on the whole, less likely to commit various vices.
Reply to Objection 1: It is said that idle hands are the devil's workshop. Insofar as masturbation occupies the onanist, it prevents him from engaging in vicious or destructive acts.
Reply to Objection 2: Rather than inflaming carnal lust, masturbation dissipates it by a harmless release of sexual tensions. In doing so, it removes, rather than proliferates, the driving force that motivates acts of sexual vice.
Reply to Objection 3: Pent up libido will seek relief through other channels, and without the relief of masturbation, might well find its expression through the satiation of other appetites such as gluttony, gambling, and other material vices.
Masturbation is a salutary use of the reproductive organs and does not conflict with reproductive sex.
Objection 1: Masturbation enervates the sexual organs.
Objection 2: In the male, masturbation wastes sperm that would otherwise be used for conception.
Objection 3: By providing an alternative release of sexual energies, masturbation cheapens and may even diminish the physical gratification to be found in reproductive intercourse.
On the contrary, regular use of a muscle or organ strengthens it, preserves ongoing functioning, and keeps it at the ready for functioning. If a limb or organ in the body is not used, it gradually withers away and loses sense or function. It stands that our reproductive organs should be no exception.
I answer that masturbation primes the sexual organs for use in reproductive sex and increases the chances of sexual intercourse resulting in conception by increasing the health of those organs and their issue. Additionally, by making one aware of the erogenous capabilities of the sexual organs, masturbation better prepares one for having a positive experience in partnered, procreative sex.
Reply to Objection 1: Masturbation exercises the sexual organs and assures that they are in good working order. It prevents stagnation of fluids and atrophy of tissues, and in the male, increases the quality of sperm by stimulating the production of fresh gametes.
Reply to Objection 2: Science has shown that regular and frequent ejaculations increase the quality of a male's sperm by stimulating the production of fresh and healthy gametes. Therefore men who masturbate regularly are more likely to father a child. Thusly, the spilt semen is but a sacrifice toward a more favorable chance of achieving conception.
Reply to Objection 3: Especially in the case of women, by demonstrating the range of possible sexual pleasure that one is capable of experiencing, masturbation encourages one to enter into a sexual relationship with confidence in one's own sexuality, and with the expectation of a positive experience.
Masturbation makes a positive contribution to human society.
Objection 1: Masturbation is most often a solitary, private and antisocial act, and is therefore contrary to human interaction and community.
Objection 2: As a act of self-gratification and self-indulgence, masturbation encourages selfishness and promotes the tendency to put one's own needs first above others'.
Objection 3: As a form of self-love, masturbation engenders narcissism, pride, and self-regard, which are detrimental to forming human relationships.
On the contrary, a solitary act directed towards oneself can nevertheless have positive repercussions for the individual's communal interactions and relationships, insofar as it improves the individual's disposition toward others.
I answer that through masturbation, an individual comes to be in a superior position to contribute to society through increased goodwill and capacity for healthy interpersonal bonds.
Reply to Objection 1: Masturbation is an activity in which all sexually mature humans may engage, therefore it can serve as a commonality upon which to build understanding amongst those of differing nationalities, viewpoints, etc.
Reply to Objection 2: After engaging in masturbation, an individual will be in a relaxed, fulfilled, and pleasant mood, and therefore more apt to extend charity and good will toward others.
Reply to Objection 3: The act of masturbation can give a sense of mastery, self-confidence, and ownership of one's body. Healthy self-esteem and a clear sense of self are necessary for healthy emotional bonds.
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Fisting and God's Will
The sex act called fisting is a source of confusion and misconceptions for many Christians. This is unfortunate, because it means that many Christian men and women are depriving themselves of what could be the most spiritual sexual experience of their lives. Like anal sex andBDSM, fisting is often mistakenly associated with the gay community or is considered a sex act too extreme to be appropriate for Christian couples. Not only are these views incorrect, but fisting actually has a scriptural precedent, as we will show.
The Fist of Might
Over and over in the scriptures, the hand and fist of God are described as a symbol of His awesome power and the means through which this power manifests: "O God, God of our ancestors, are you not God in heaven above and ruler of all kingdoms below? You hold all power and might in your fist.” (2 Chronicles 20:6) Of course, the Old Testament often makes reference to God smiting his enemies with his fist or striking down the wicked with his hand, but it is also the means through which he administers his blessings and benevolence to the righteous: ”You open Your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing.” (Psalms 145:16) Through the hand of the Lord, he guides us to do his will, touches our lives, expresses His love, and provides for our needs with His abundance.
The biblical significance of the hand is important, because in the act of fisting, one partner (usually male) inserts his entire hand and fist into the vagina or rectum of his partner. Rather than copulating with his penis, he penetrates her with his fist. Given the powerful symbolism of the fist, it is no surprise that couples who have partaken in the practice of fisting have described it as being a profoundly spiritual experience. On a symbolic and sexual level, a wife who is fisted by her husband has the experience of surrendering completely to the divine love and power of the Lord, as embodied by her partner’s hand. The husband in turn has the experience of touching and caressing her inwardly, in such a deep and intimate manner as God touches our own souls with His grace.
Powerful Yet Gentle
In the Song of Solomon, the Bible describes the act of fisting and the profound erotic bliss it induces: It is the voice of my beloved! He knocks, saying, "Open for me, my sister, my love, My dove, my perfect one”…My love thrust his hand through the opening, and my feelings were stirred for him. (Song of Solomon 5:2-4) Here we see the lover gently coaxing his companion to open up to him, metaphorically “knocking at her door,” preparing her sexually and emotionally to receive his hand inside her. Gradually he works more and more fingers into her, until the moment when her vagina yields and his hand slips fully inside her, thrusting “through the opening.” She then describes the powerful passion that this arouses in her as she envelopes his entire hand inside her body. Many couples describe this moment, as the fist makes full penetration into the vaginal opening, as transcendent and a sexual revelation. As the woman’s body accommodates her husband’s hand, both may experience a sense of physical, sexual, emotional, and spiritual oneness.
Some common misconceptions about fisting are that it is very painful or that it is somehow violent or abusive. This is far from the truth, and as we can see from the above description, it can be a gentle, loving, and highly erotic act. Fisting does not have to be painful if it is performed correctly, using enough lubrication and patience. The hand is inserted in a slow and controlled manner, and is preceded and followed by other sexual stimulation which may lead to orgasm. Both the vagina and the rectum are extremely elastic – a vagina, after all, can stretch to accommodate a full-term baby. And in fact, a woman who has been blessed with motherhood can more easily enjoy fisting because her vaginal opening is more flexible.
The act of fisting is physically challenging to perform, requiring patience on the part of the active partner, and relaxation on the part of the receiving partner. It cannot be rushed, and the two participants must communicate closely, with the fister carefully observing and attending to his partner’s comfort and limits, and the fistee directing her partner as to when to push forward and hold back as he works his hand into her. A Christian couple can use fisting to build trust and intimacy between them, as well as strengthening their relationship with the Lord.
Fisting as an Act of Faith
Before attempting fisting, a Christian husband and wife should pray together and ask for divine guidance. The husband should ask that God guide his hand and work through him, and for the skill and patience to fist his wife correctly and maximize her pleasure. The wife should pray for openness and readiness to receive God’s love and grace in the form of her husband’s hand.
Both should treat the act of fisting as a divine spiritual mystery to be entered into with reverence and awe, especially the husband. In another spiritual interpretation of fisting, as he inserts his hand into his wife’s vagina, a man is symbolically re-enacting the moment of truth following Christ’s resurrection from the tomb, when Doubting Thomas touches the wounds in the Savior’s flesh: Then He said to Thomas, "Put your finger here and observe My hands. Reach out your hand and put it into My side. Don't be an unbeliever, but a believer.” (John 20:27)Thomas’ doubt would not be satisfied until he physically felt the wounds in Christ’s body and penetrated His flesh with his hand. Likewise, the spiritual and sexual power of fisting cannot be known unless experienced physically.
Role Reversal
So far we have only discussed a husband fisting his wife, but some couples may wonder if it is appropriate for a wife to fist her husband if he enjoys anal stimulation. In most cases, a wife indulging her husband’s desire to receive light anal play is not problematic in the context of a healthy sexual relationship. A wife may even anally penetrate her partner with a strap-on dildo if he enjoys this, and if their respective roles as husband and wife are secure outside of the bedroom.
However, because of the intense nature of the act of fisting and the degree of surrender and submission involved in being fisted, a couple should first look deeply into their own hearts and pray for guidance as to whether it is wise for the wife to fist the husband. They should undertake this only if their relationship is such that the husband can assume a submissive and passive role during a sexual act, while afterward still maintaining his role as the spiritual head of the household and leader in the marriage. Our article on Christian BDSM also addresses this issue.
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Masturbation: God's Great Gift to Us
The subject of masturbation is the cause of much concern and confusion among Christians. Most of us are taught that masturbation is sinful or wrong, and many believe that the Bible actually forbids masturbation. The latter is simply untrue; masturbation is not even mentioned in the Bible. And when we consider the facts, it becomes clear that masturbation is not a sin, but rather a blessing from God that enables us to fully enjoy our bodies and can help us lead a more healthy spiritual life.
Masturbating for the Glory of God
Some people say that they feel guilty, shameful, or dirty after they masturbate, and so they conclude that masturbation must be a sin. This is just because most of us have been taught, often by misguided religious authorities, that our bodies are bad and anything relating to physical pleasure is sinful. This is simply not true, and this is not what God intended for us. God created our bodies, along with our capacity for sexual pleasure and orgasm. Masturbation is just a normal release of sexual energy, and if used properly, it can help keep us healthy physically and spiritually.
The Scripture tells us that our bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit, and that everything that we do should glorify the Lord. While masturbation is not a sin, we must be careful to masturbate in a way that is respectful to our bodies, and respectful to God. Masturbation is a gift that we should not abuse. This means we should not masturbate to excess, or to the point where we injure ourselves. If you are masturbating until you are exhausted, or until your genitals are raw or bleeding, this is excessive, harmful, and not what God intended. If you masturbate compulsively to the point that it interferes with your work or your relationships with friends, family, and God, this is a problem. If you masturbate while indulging in impure thoughts (fantasizing about your neighbor’s wife, for example), this is also a misuse of God’s gift. Of course, this is not to say that masturbation in itself is wrong – simply that we must use masturbation in a way that is healthy and responsible.
Masturbation: God’s Gift to Us
Most discussions of masturbation don’t even touch on the multitude of ways that masturbating can contribute to our physical, emotional, and moral health. Here are just a few of the many ways that masturbation is beneficial:
- It prevents sexually transmitted diseases. Masturbation is the safest form of safe sex. You can’t catch or spread any STDs when you masturbate.
- It prevents unwanted pregnancies. By masturbating instead of having intercourse, couples – both married and unmarried – can avoid the dilemma of an unwanted or unplanned pregnancy. If birth control is not available, masturbation is a wise alternative to unprotected sex.
- It’s an alternative to premarital sex. Masturbation provides an alternative to intercourse before marriage. It allows both partners to keep their virginity intact for their wedding night.
- It’s an alternative to sinful behavior such as adultery. If a man or woman is tempted to indulge in adulterous sex, for example, masturbating is a much better alternative to committing a sin.
- It provides gratification if sex is unfulfilling. Many women do not experience orgasm during sexual intercourse, and some people are just unable to climax with a partner. In these cases, masturbation allows the experience of sexual fulfillment.
- It allows us to reap the health benefits of sexual release. Medical research shows that having regular orgasms can contribute to overall health in many ways. Having an orgasm releases physical tension and emotional stress, releases endorphins, and improves circulation. Studies also show that having regular ejaculations decreases the risk of prostate cancer in men. Masturbation allows us to enjoy these benefits whether or not we have a sexual partner.
- It enables us to enjoy our bodies and God’s gift of sexual pleasure. Most importantly, masturbation is a way for us to enjoy and celebrate our God-given sexuality. Sexual pleasure and orgasm are blessings from the Lord, and masturbation is one way we can experience them. Our bodies and our sexual organs were made to feel good; if we deny ourselves pleasure, we are refusing one of God’s gifts.
Many people are under the impression that the Bible specifically forbids masturbation. In reality, the Bible does not even mention masturbation. The story of Onan (Genesis 38:7-10) is always cited as an example of how God will punish masturbators; this is where we get the term “Onanism,” which refers to masturbation. However, the story of Onan has absolutely nothing to do with masturbating. After his brother died, Onan was commanded by God to impregnate his brother’s wife. Onan had sex with her, but defied God by pulling out before he ejaculated so she wouldn’t get pregnant. His seed spilled on the ground – due to coitus interruptus, not masturbation – but this detail became equated with masturbation by those who apparently had their own agenda.
There are other passages in the Old Testament (Leviticus 15: 15-32, Leviticus 22:4, Deuteronomy 23:9-11) that refer to “emissions of semen” and what is necessary to purify one’s self after an ejaculation, or if you get semen on yourself or your clothing. There is no mention about how the emission occurs, although it would seem like masturbation could definitely be a possibility. However, it’s important to note that these passages say nothing about masturbation being sinful – simply that you must ritually cleanse yourself after ejaculating. So keep some tissues, paper towels, or wet wipes handy when you masturbate.
Thank God for the Blessing of Masturbation
God made our bodies, so if we think our bodies are dirty and shameful, we are shunning God’s divine creation. And if we masturbate with shame and feelings of sinfulness, we are besmirching God’s blessing. Instead, we should celebrate our bodies and our sexual nature, and rejoice in the pleasure and satisfaction that they can bring us through masturbation. God’s birthright to us is joy, happiness, and health, and there are few moments more joyous than the moment of orgasm. Therefore, every time we masturbate, we should say a prayer of gratitude, thanking the Lord for our bodies, for sexual pleasure, and for masturbation as a means of experiencing the bliss of orgasm. Remember also the many ways that masturbation helps keep us physically and spiritually healthy. Masturbation is truly a gift from God, and one that we should use with respect and righteousness to glorify Him.
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A Proposal for a Christian Pornography
Are you saving yourself for your wedding night? The Devil wants you to fail, that’s why he puts stumbling blocks in your way. But God wants you to succeed, and that’s why he has given us an alternative to intercourse before marriage: anal sex. Through anal sex, you can satisfy your body’s needs, while you avoid the risk of unwanted pregnancy and still keep yourself pure for marriage.
You may be shocked at first by this idea. Isn’t anal sex (sodomy) forbidden by the Bible? Isn’t anal sex dirty? What’s the difference between having anal sex before marriage and having regular intercourse? Let’s address these issues by debunking some myths about anal sex and God's will.
“I thought the Bible said anal sex was a sin.”
This is a common misconception. Anal sex is confusing to many Christians because of the attention paid to the Bible’s condemnation of homosexual acts. However, it’s important to realize that these often quoted scriptures refer only to sexual acts between two men. Nowhere does the Bible forbid anal sex between a male and female.
In fact, many Biblical passages allude to the act of anal sex between men and women. Lamentations 2:10 describes how “The virgins of Jerusalem have bowed their heads to the ground,” indicating how a virginal maidens should position themselves to receive anal sex. Another suggestive scripture tells of a woman’s pride in her “valley” (referring to her buttocks and the cleft between them) and entices her lover to ejaculate against her backside: "How boastful you are about the valleys! O backsliding daughter who trusts in her treasures, {saying,} ' Who will come against me?' (Jeremiah 49:4) And in the Song of Songs, the lover urges his mate to allow him to enter her from behind: “Draw me after you, let us make haste.” (Song of Solomon, 1:4)
“Isn’t anal sex dirty?”
The Bible says, “To the pure, all things are pure.” (Titus 1:15) The Lord created your body, and no part of it is imperfect or unclean. God also created our bodies for pleasure, and anal sex is just one of the many ways, including standard sexual intercourse, that we can enjoy this pleasure and share it with a partner.
Although the anus is used for elimination, in reality it is not as dirty as you think, especially after a shower or bath. Elimination is also a natural process of our God-given bodies, so our conception of the anal area as dirty has more to do with our own psychological hang-ups. If the idea of direct contact with this area is still distasteful to you, the male can wear a condom as a barrier
“If you’re going to have anal sex, why not just have regular sex?”
This is a good question: If you’re going to have sexual contact before marriage, why not just go the whole nine yards and have regular sex? There are many good reasons for having anal sex instead. The first reason is practical: having conventional vaginal intercourse can lead to unwanted pregnancies. While it’s true that the Lord bade us to “be fruitful and multiply,” (Gen 1:22) the Bible also counsels that “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” (Ecl. 3:1) Pregnancy outside of wedlock can have dire and life-altering consequences for all those involved. Having anal sex allows you to greatly reduce this risk.
Second, for a young woman who has never engaged in sexual intercourse, having anal sex allows her to preserve her virginity (i.e., maintain an intact hymen) until marriage. There is no greater gift that a bride can give than to offer her pure, unsullied maidenhead to her husband on their wedding night.
Finally, anal sex allows both partners to save the most intimate and powerful sexual act, that of face-to-face vaginal intercourse, for their mates in marriage. This type of sexual relationship represents the most powerful union between a man and a woman, and so it rightfully should be reserved for one’s life partner. Fortunately, you can engage in anal sex prior to marriage and still be able to share the deeper, more meaningful act of consecrated love through vaginal intercourse with your wedded spouse.
You may be shocked at first by this idea. Isn’t anal sex (sodomy) forbidden by the Bible? Isn’t anal sex dirty? What’s the difference between having anal sex before marriage and having regular intercourse? Let’s address these issues by debunking some myths about anal sex and God's will.
“I thought the Bible said anal sex was a sin.”
This is a common misconception. Anal sex is confusing to many Christians because of the attention paid to the Bible’s condemnation of homosexual acts. However, it’s important to realize that these often quoted scriptures refer only to sexual acts between two men. Nowhere does the Bible forbid anal sex between a male and female.
In fact, many Biblical passages allude to the act of anal sex between men and women. Lamentations 2:10 describes how “The virgins of Jerusalem have bowed their heads to the ground,” indicating how a virginal maidens should position themselves to receive anal sex. Another suggestive scripture tells of a woman’s pride in her “valley” (referring to her buttocks and the cleft between them) and entices her lover to ejaculate against her backside: "How boastful you are about the valleys! O backsliding daughter who trusts in her treasures, {saying,} ' Who will come against me?' (Jeremiah 49:4) And in the Song of Songs, the lover urges his mate to allow him to enter her from behind: “Draw me after you, let us make haste.” (Song of Solomon, 1:4)
“Isn’t anal sex dirty?”
The Bible says, “To the pure, all things are pure.” (Titus 1:15) The Lord created your body, and no part of it is imperfect or unclean. God also created our bodies for pleasure, and anal sex is just one of the many ways, including standard sexual intercourse, that we can enjoy this pleasure and share it with a partner.
Although the anus is used for elimination, in reality it is not as dirty as you think, especially after a shower or bath. Elimination is also a natural process of our God-given bodies, so our conception of the anal area as dirty has more to do with our own psychological hang-ups. If the idea of direct contact with this area is still distasteful to you, the male can wear a condom as a barrier
“If you’re going to have anal sex, why not just have regular sex?”
This is a good question: If you’re going to have sexual contact before marriage, why not just go the whole nine yards and have regular sex? There are many good reasons for having anal sex instead. The first reason is practical: having conventional vaginal intercourse can lead to unwanted pregnancies. While it’s true that the Lord bade us to “be fruitful and multiply,” (Gen 1:22) the Bible also counsels that “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” (Ecl. 3:1) Pregnancy outside of wedlock can have dire and life-altering consequences for all those involved. Having anal sex allows you to greatly reduce this risk.
Second, for a young woman who has never engaged in sexual intercourse, having anal sex allows her to preserve her virginity (i.e., maintain an intact hymen) until marriage. There is no greater gift that a bride can give than to offer her pure, unsullied maidenhead to her husband on their wedding night.
Finally, anal sex allows both partners to save the most intimate and powerful sexual act, that of face-to-face vaginal intercourse, for their mates in marriage. This type of sexual relationship represents the most powerful union between a man and a woman, and so it rightfully should be reserved for one’s life partner. Fortunately, you can engage in anal sex prior to marriage and still be able to share the deeper, more meaningful act of consecrated love through vaginal intercourse with your wedded spouse.
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Threesomes Within a Christian Marriage
When a man and woman have joined together in a loving and holy marriage union, they may sometimes find that their love for one another and for God spills over outside of their relationship. Or they may find that other people are drawn to the joy, bliss, and passion that they radiate. In such situations, the desire or opportunity may arise to involve a third individual in their relationship – to form a threesome. Is this a temptation into sin, or a calling to a higher spiritual love? The answer is not clear in all situations, so we must turn to the Scriptures for guidance.
Is a Christian Threesome Possible?
The possibility of a threesome, or ménage a trois, brings up two main issues of concern to Christians, those of homosexuality and adultery. Much has been said about Biblical prohibitions against both of these behaviors, but we must look at this situation carefully in context to see how and whether these rules apply. Let’s first consider the problem of homosexuality as it relates to a threesome. It’s common knowledge that in several passages in both the Old and New Testament the Bible prohibits homosexual acts between men. Although two men having simultaneous sexual relations with one woman may not have any overt homosexual contact between them, the act of sharing a woman and being together in a sexual situation is nevertheless homoerotic and suggests implied homosexuality, as well as presenting a temptation to experiment where one may ordinarily not. For this reason, we feel it is best for a couple to avoid bringing another man into the picture.
Most people assume the Biblical prohibition against male homosexuality also includes sex between women – lesbianism or female bisexuality. However, this is a questionable conclusion, since the Bible makes little or no mention of women with regard to this subject, and because the Bible, for better or worse, often holds men and women to different standards regarding sex and sexual roles. Therefore, we believe that lesbianism cannot be seen in the same light as male homosexuality through the Scriptures.
The one passage that is frequently cited as condemning female homosexuality is found in Romans 1:26-27: "For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions: for their women exchanged the natural use for that which is against nature. And in the same way also the men abandoned the natural use of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts…” The idea of women going “against nature” is typically interpreted to mean women lusting after women. However, we believe that what Paul is referring to when he speaks of women “going against nature” is not female homosexuality per se, but rather the reversal of sexual roles that goes against the natural order established by God.
Of course, this does have relevance to the issue of female homosexuality, as many lesbians do assume masculine roles and attitudes, adopt male clothing and mannerisms, and play the part of a male in their relationships with women. Women who fall into this category (“butch” lesbians, or “bulldykes”) are indeed going against nature with regards to their sexuality. At the same time, however, there are many women who engage in lesbian or bisexual activity who nevertheless maintain a traditional feminine role and demeanor (i.e., “lipstick” lesbians). Since there is no specific prohibition against lesbian sex, as long as these women remain within the boundaries of the female role prescribed by Scripture, and submit to the authority of the men in their lives, we assume it is permissible. Of course, if their husband or father objected, that would be another story.
Isn’t a Threesome Adultery?
This leads directly to the subject of adultery, and whether female bisexual relations would be considered adultery in this context. This is another Biblical gray area, because within the Scripture and within the codes of Biblical law, adultery is always represented as intercourse between a man and a woman, specifically between a man and another man’s wife. Numbers 5 describes in detail the procedure for trying and punishing a woman for adultery, a process that can be initiated by the woman’s husband if his “wife goes astray and is unfaithful to him, and a man has intercourse with her.” or “(I)f a spirit of jealousy comes over (the husband) and he is jealous of his wife when she has defiled herself, or if a spirit of jealousy comes over him and he is jealous of his wife when she has not defiled herself.” (Numbers 5:12-14) Since a husband’s jealousy can be aroused whether or not his wife has actually had sex with another man, what is pertinent here is not the act of extramarital intercourse, but the husband’s feeling of being wronged. So a wife’s lesbian activities, even though not in the parameters of what the Bible defines as adulterous behavior, could nevertheless be considered adultery if it makes the wife’s husband jealous.
Of course, many heterosexual men, rather than feeling threatened by lesbian sex, are fascinated by it, and in this case, the exploration of the wife’s sexuality with another woman could actually serve to draw the husband and wife closer together. However, in this situation we must ask what degree of participation is appropriate for the male, and how should he conduct himself so as not to commit adultery against his wife. This is a slippery slope, but if we look to the Scriptures, we can establish some guidelines for what is permissible.
The Old Testament is full of references to Biblical men, such as Solomon, David, and others, who had not only multiple wives, but also harems of concubines at their disposal. Today the practice of polygyny (one man having multiple wives) is illegal in most places. Although we can acknowledge polygyny in principal, we must recognize and honor the primacy and priority of the marriage bond between one husband and one wife. Whenever a third party is introduced into this equation, it must only be to support and strengthen the existing marriage bond between those two individuals. So, if bringing in another woman would in any way undermine the relationship between husband and wife, it should not be pursued.
Playing by God’s Rules
If, on the other hand, a married couple feels their relationship would benefit from them establishing a loving involvement another woman, out of respect for the couple’s marriage, and out of respect for any marital attachments of the other woman, they must abide by certain limits and conditions:
(1) To avoid the impropriety of male homosexuality, a heterosexual couple should not under any circumstances form a threesome with another man.The latter case is the most difficult for the husband, since he must not only refrain from having relations with the other married woman, in order to avoid making them both adulterers, but he must also refrain from having lustful thoughts about her, because of what Matthew 5:28 tells us: “But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” In this situation it is recommended that in order to avoid temptation, both the husband and his wife’s female partner focus their attentions and affection on the wife. If the husband finds it difficult to control his thoughts and fantasies about the other woman, it may be helpful to realize the meaning of this passage, which is that if you commit an act in your thoughts, it’s the same as committing it in real life. If a man imagines having intercourse with a married woman, then indeed, he has committed adultery in his heart. Instead, we would counsel this man to imagine that same married woman having sex with his wife; by taking himself out of the picture, he renders himself blameless. When in doubt, a married man would do well to apply this same principle in any situation involving a threesome with his wife and another woman.
(2) Both women involved in the threesome must be willing to keep within traditional female roles (i.e., not taking on masculine appearance or behavior in or out of the bedroom) and recognize the male as the leader in the relationship.
(3) If the wife’s lesbian sex partner is unmarried, it may be permissible for the husband to have relations with her only with his wife’s consent.
(4) If the wife’s lesbian sex partner is unmarried, but the wife does not wish her to have relations with the other woman, the husband should respect this.
(5) If the wife’s lesbian sex partner is married, her husband must not have objections to the relationship.
(6) If the wife’s lesbian sex partner is married, the husband should refrain from having any sexual relations with her, and should make every effort to control his fantasies about her. He should concentrate his attention on his own wife.
To summarize, we feel a Christian threesome is morally acceptable if it meets these conditions: It must be composed of one man and two women, all of whom recognize and maintain proper sex roles for men and women in and out of the bedroom. All married members of the threesome must consent to the arrangement and have consent from their spouses. And finally, the purpose of the relationship must be that it ultimately strengthens the existing bond between husband and wife and allows all three parties to share and celebrate their love of God together.
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Tuesday, August 24, 2010
While learning from the best, what are the pitfalls we must avoid?
Imitation can never become culture. You may wear royal robes and act the role; but can you, as a result of this imitation, become a king? A donkey clothed in tiger skin does not become a tiger. Imitation is a sign of cowardice. It cannot further one’s progress. In fact the tendency to imitate leads you down, step by step, into frightful shape. You must endeavour to uplift yourselves. You must be proud that you are devotees of the Lord. You must hold your ancestors in high esteem. You should not imitate others and copy their attitudes. However, you may imbibe the good in them.
How can we win the game of life?
The Vedas and the Shastras (scriptures) are the greatest repositories ofHitha (beneficence) as they were won through penance and travail by sages and seers who were interested in the welfare of humanity and the liberation of man. They advise that man must regulate his 'outer-look' and develop the 'inner-look'; the inner reality is the foundation on which the outer reality is built. It is like the steering wheel inside the car which directs the outer wheels. Know that the basic reality is God. Become aware of it and stay in that awareness always. Whatever be the stress and the storm, do not waver from that faith.
How can we outgrow the "Me" and "Mine" attributes?
Desire and bondage to the objects desired and the plans to secure them are attributes of the jeevis (individualized selves), not of the Self or atma resident in the body. The sense of “me” and “mine” and the emotions of lust and anger originate in the body-mind complex. Only when this complex is conquered and outgrown can true virtue emanate and manifest. The sense of “doer” and “enjoyer”, of being an agent, might appear to affect the Atma, but they are not part of the genuine nature of the Atma. Things get mirrored and produce images, but the mirror is not tarnished or even affected thereby. It remains as clear as it was. Every jeevi has these as genuine, basic attributes: purity, serenity, and joy. Every individual is ebullient with these qualiti es.
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